The social experiment that is my beard has moved past the planning phase, although the poll that I operated saw only 6 Yes votes to 4 No. With numbers so small, I can't really make any initial judgements, although I can make some interesting observations:
60% of straight women who participated voted Yes
100% of straight men who participated voted Yes
100% of gay men who participated voted No
These figures don't tell me everything I'd like to know. I suspect that reasons for voting varied in the Yes cases, but not in the No cases. The former could have been either caused by simple curiosity OR the belief that beards look good, while I'm more inclinded to believe that the latter all come from the belief that beards are unattractive. I say this based particularly on the gay vote, as those voters presumably have a better idea of what looks good on a man than any straight man does. Democracy has carried the day, however, and now data will have to be collected by research in the field. I'm such a nerd.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Transition and Transformation II
I've been busy lately- far busier than I would have guessed a week ago when everything seemed to be moving so slow. The exercise and social activity has kept me in good spirits, yet I am apprehensive of the lull that must inevitably follow. Even during the last few hectic days there have been moments when I sensed that all the flurry of activity surrounding me was masking a decline in the more normal forms of my social interaction- Facebook and MSN have been dead for some time now, as people move away or get into the summer routine. When my social schedule dries up- as it will shortly- without work, and without the usual interaction that comes with school, I fear that a sort of gloomy boredom may become my new norm. Among the solutions offered to this problem, I have been told that I should find a woman. I admit that I would love that sort of companionship, but there is no reason to think that it will simply fall out of the sky. In the meantime, I think I shall construct some sort of routine. My bus pass will activate on Friday, meaning that I can essentially tour the city at whim, should I have nothing better to do. My spending needs to be reigned in, but there's still a lot I could do for cheap or free. I could also stand to devote more time to reading or practicing my German. Trouble is, once the summer comes, the leisure activities that are so relaxing during the school year seem far more mundane. I'm sure I'll figure something out though, and once mid-May rolls around I'll be back at work full-time anyways. Yee-haw.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Transition and Transformation
I had some fun tonight, and I'm happier than I've been in awhile. Having been relieved of my latest burden, I feel that I am ready to meet summer head-on. That's figurative, but walking home tonight I had the energy to attempt it physically. I haven't sprinted in a long time, and I ran fast enough to have stuff fall out of my pockets. I imagine it was quite a sight. I think this summer shall be a good one.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Character Development I: Einsamkeit
I still miss her sometimes, usually late at night when my mind wanders. It's true what they say- the heart never forgets its first love. Very infrequently I send her short messages in the hopes that she'll respond, but I always wait in vain. I suspect that my messages are filtered or blocked before they reach her, and I don't know what I'd do if she ever responded. My goals are unclear, but I suspect these actions are my mechanism for trying to come to terms with the great happiness that I lost, that one formative experience against which all others are measured.
My goal with this post is not to evoke pity or sympathy, and I don't want to be seen as someone who exists in a perpetual state or mourning, because I am generally content with my life and grateful for all that I have. I seek rather to provide the reader with a greater understanding of my character. Too often we make judgements based on a surface action without an attempt to delve deeper to discover the root cause. I intend to post on a number of these topics that I consider important formative experiences in my life.
This particular theme of lost love influences my current attitudes towards women, relationships, and sexual morality, and can further be linked to the periods of melancholy I sometimes enter. When we love someone strongly and that person is suddenly removed against our will, we don't simply stop loving, but we continute to produce feelings for a target that no longer receives them. The result can be likened to a wound which drains the victim psychologically, and unlike its corporeal counterpart, may never heal. Occasionally, something will cause this wound of mine to re-open, and I will enter a melancholic state. I want to point out that these states are not the same as a depression; they generally are shorter and less intense. I have also discovered recently that I am more susceptible to these moods when I am not eating properly.
This topic has admittedly been difficult for me to write about because I am a rather secretive person, and this post has required me lay out my personal oddities for others to examine. Say what you will. It does me no good to keep these things to myself anymore.
My goal with this post is not to evoke pity or sympathy, and I don't want to be seen as someone who exists in a perpetual state or mourning, because I am generally content with my life and grateful for all that I have. I seek rather to provide the reader with a greater understanding of my character. Too often we make judgements based on a surface action without an attempt to delve deeper to discover the root cause. I intend to post on a number of these topics that I consider important formative experiences in my life.
This particular theme of lost love influences my current attitudes towards women, relationships, and sexual morality, and can further be linked to the periods of melancholy I sometimes enter. When we love someone strongly and that person is suddenly removed against our will, we don't simply stop loving, but we continute to produce feelings for a target that no longer receives them. The result can be likened to a wound which drains the victim psychologically, and unlike its corporeal counterpart, may never heal. Occasionally, something will cause this wound of mine to re-open, and I will enter a melancholic state. I want to point out that these states are not the same as a depression; they generally are shorter and less intense. I have also discovered recently that I am more susceptible to these moods when I am not eating properly.
This topic has admittedly been difficult for me to write about because I am a rather secretive person, and this post has required me lay out my personal oddities for others to examine. Say what you will. It does me no good to keep these things to myself anymore.
Dan's Odyssey
It has been almost a year since I last posted anything here, but it has been suggested that I once again take up blogging, if only to pass the time. I find writing to be cathartic, and the blog provides a safer audience than Facebook, I think. I believe that one of my first posts all those years ago stated that I would try to avoid discussing the mundane activities of my day-to-day life, and I think I'd like to try to keep up that tradition. To be sure, events from my daily life will be mentioned, but this blog will essentially be used as an arena where my abstract thoughts can be set free from my mind, so that they don't get bored and start wrecking up the place. Thoughts are tricky things.
So what's on my mind today?
Right now is the Beard Debate, that is, should I grow one? I'm fully capable of doing so, but my mind remains wary. The semi-poll that I've set up via Facebook so far suggests that most people are in favour of me trying it, so I guess the last person who requires convincing will be myself. To put it simply, I don't think a beard squares with my own image of myself. I used to have one years ago, and I liked it well enough. I kept it for about a year and the shaved it off out of boredom one day, and I haven't really attempted to grow another one since. To maintain a beard of the kind I'm thinking of growing will require more work than the usual clean-shaving once every 5-6 days. Yes, I'm lazy. It also doesn't help that my last girlfriend equated beards with pedophilia, which, although a bit ridiculous, has nevertheless colored my views on the subject. The major question in my mind, then, is whether a beard will provide more advantages than disadvantages. Since having a beard in my case is simply a question of aesthetics as opposed to one of utility (i.e. covering scars or filling out a weak jawline), what ultimately matters is how good I will look with one. This is a difficult question, given that all answers to it will be based on the subjective tastes of everyone (OK, every woman) who sees it. I suspect a bearded Dan will appeal more stronglyto a niche audience (the one that tries to pick him up at bus stops), while the more familiar clean-shaven Dan appeals to a more general audience, but in a weaker manner. I'm thinking this would make an interesting social experiment. In any case, I'll keep you up-to-date on any developments.
So what's on my mind today?
Right now is the Beard Debate, that is, should I grow one? I'm fully capable of doing so, but my mind remains wary. The semi-poll that I've set up via Facebook so far suggests that most people are in favour of me trying it, so I guess the last person who requires convincing will be myself. To put it simply, I don't think a beard squares with my own image of myself. I used to have one years ago, and I liked it well enough. I kept it for about a year and the shaved it off out of boredom one day, and I haven't really attempted to grow another one since. To maintain a beard of the kind I'm thinking of growing will require more work than the usual clean-shaving once every 5-6 days. Yes, I'm lazy. It also doesn't help that my last girlfriend equated beards with pedophilia, which, although a bit ridiculous, has nevertheless colored my views on the subject. The major question in my mind, then, is whether a beard will provide more advantages than disadvantages. Since having a beard in my case is simply a question of aesthetics as opposed to one of utility (i.e. covering scars or filling out a weak jawline), what ultimately matters is how good I will look with one. This is a difficult question, given that all answers to it will be based on the subjective tastes of everyone (OK, every woman) who sees it. I suspect a bearded Dan will appeal more stronglyto a niche audience (the one that tries to pick him up at bus stops), while the more familiar clean-shaven Dan appeals to a more general audience, but in a weaker manner. I'm thinking this would make an interesting social experiment. In any case, I'll keep you up-to-date on any developments.
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